Banks(y), in our hearts FOREVER.

 

On Thursday May 20, 2010 we lost our beloved Golden Retriever, Banks.  He was only 5 years old, and obviously he left this world way too soon.  We have no idea what happened to him, but we do know that he was very happy and was not sick at all.  This will be a VERY long post, mostly of pictures with little stories and anecdotes peppered throughout.  Mostly I’m doing this for our own remembrance and grieving process.  Our children are so young still, but I know in my heart that any other dog that comes into their lives or that they come across they will undoubtedly always have Banks as their “golden” standard which they will measure each one up to.  Banks was our first baby, before Ty was born, and therefore, every definition of “dog” Ty has in his brain is synonymous with “Banks”.  It was his first word, in fact. It sounded like “doh”, but it was definitely “dog”.  And before I make myself cry so much so that I can’t finish this blog, I better get started…

Banks was born January 5, 2005 on a farm down in Kentucky.  We chose him for his little spunky personality and his one-of-a-kind markings (on his tail and back paws).  They called him “dipstick” when he was born because it looked like his back paws and tail were dipped in white paint.  He never lost that, and at every grooming I made sure they left the white tip on his tail intact.  I drove down to pick him up on Valentine’s Day and our lives were forever changed by this most loveable, trustworthy, unconditionally loving, gentle, pampered, intelligent, family friendly, famous, loved-by-all dog….

   (There weren’t many times he got in very big trouble, but this was probably one of them!)

At our first home, on Surrey Way, Banks was just able to run free.  We left him in the front yard, sometimes for hours on end, and he would trustfully stay within a safe radius of our home (with only a few transgressions, of course I’m remembering a certain time a day after Thanksgiving when he was gone for an hour or so and came back to the house with his neck and head fur covered in a poultry-grease FUNK and a very happy look in his eyes…)

He would greet neighbors, walkers, children- anyone who was willing to give him a quick pat or fluff up his ego fur.

 

Of course, the front yard proved to be a VERY good ball-launching area, and our whole cul-de-sac became fair game as soon as we got our blue ball launcher.  As you can see he became quite the master at retrieving several balls at one time. 

Since I had more free time in the late afternoons and evenings while I was teaching, I became the first Alpha-dog in his life by taking him to Obedience School.  Actually, obedience school came to us, in the form of the Doggie Diva.  She came to our home for the majority of our sessions and taught me how to teach him to be a better dog (though, he didn’t need it, he was already such a laid back, gentle dog to begin with).  He learned all the necessary commands of sit, down, heel, quickly, slow down, and of course on the side we taught him the traditional “paw” and “get the paper”.  I’d like to say he passed with flying colors, but it was quite the contrary.  Despite doing beautifully in our sessions, he failed his “final test” the first time, and we had to give it a second try :)  He did receive a diploma, and I think we may have debated whether or not to display it in our home as a show of our pride, ha!  Tommy was given strict orders to keep up with his share of training at home, a homework of sorts, so that Banks would indeed listen to his commands too.  I’ll let you decide if that ever played out…:)  Let’s just say I remained the alpha dog to Banks, but Tom and Banks were buddies like none other…(bear with me, I’m hitting another tender spot as I think about the relationship those two had…)

We took him on so many trips, whatever we thought a dog might deem to be the best doggy activities around-the dog park, lakes, parks, pet festivals, animal blessings…

 

 

  

Banks was VERY good at relaxing, at kicking back and taking several hour long naps.  Usually it was on the couch…or his self-appointed “chair”, the oversized chair that matched our couch and quickly became off limits to any human, lest they be covered with a pound of dog fur.  Eventually that chair got demoted and moved to our bedroom, where he kept it as his primary bed for the nighttime.  I still am regretful that I got rid of it when we moved, had he been able to talk, he might have “chewed me out” for giving it away :)

 

I mean, REALLY?  Look at THAT!  I have a 2 minute long video where I taped him snoozing on the couch like this, and then I wake him up and he looks at me like I was the most rude, inconsiderate human on the planet for interrupting his sacred time!  I’ll spare you the mundane moment (though, now, I look back on that video with a tear in my eye, okay sobbing, and laugh at the same time remembering his indulgent ways….)

       Snuggled up with his favorite toy, Scooby Doo, which we won at the IHM festival.  He adopted it as his lovey toy right away.  We did not set this picture up this way either, this is how he set it up. 

Summertime was just so unforgettable with him, I had my summers off of course and I would spend PLENTY of time out at the pool, and usually he was my pool buddy.  He’d go find a tennis ball somewhere and drop it at my feet 40 gazillion times, begging me to throw it in the pool or down the side of the yard.  This was always his cooling off spot after he was done swimming.

Our last summer at our old house, when I was pregnant with Marlo, we NEVER used the pool.  Tom pretty much dutifully kept up with the maintenance for the sole purpose of letting our dog use it for his recreation. 

 

We will forever remember this sight-Banks chillin’ on the steps of the pool, his favorite spot to be.  After a hot walk or a romp with another dog, he’d quickly trot down to the pool and dip just the bottom half of his body in to cool off.  We always thought he was like an old lady wading in the pool :)

If there were a way to go back and track our purchases at Pet Smart I think we’d be embarrassed at the amount of money we spent on gnawing bones for him.  Peanut butter filled, beef flavor filled, disgusting “pizzle sticks”, and anything else flashy or meaty that caught our eye.  Every gadget, luxury or pampering shampoo or grooming item was his.

 

Banks and Sophie having  a grand time playing in the front yard…

 

 

Life was great, and things were perfect in his little world of our family of 3.  Then, this happened…

Ty Thomas Joseph was born in March of 2007 and Banks became a BIG BROTHER.  He took this role very seriously and became protective (in the most friendly, gentle way…nothing like a Doberman or anything!) of his new little sibling.  They were instant friends and another wave a raw emotion runs through me as I reflect back on all the firsts we experienced together with these two.  And of the way they were becoming that typical boy and dog team.  I’m sad for Ty, that he won’t be able to say that he really grew up with Banks.  I always said to Banks under my breath, “Sorry bud, I know you want them to not be throwing plastic food at you and pulling on your ears and such, but just you wait, when Ty is older he will throw ball with you and you’ll go exploring in the woods together, and you’ll get to do that boyish romping around for years and years.  I’m so incredibly sad, thinking about this void…

Anyway, here he was one of the first days we came home with Ty after his stay in the NICU.  He was so cautiously approaching this tiny baby, and of course I was scolding him with my index finger as if he were a disease laden contagion!

 

He wanted to be near me, touching me, with Ty in his sights all the time…

And look at that onesie…

Banks was a great babysitter.  He became personally uncomfortable when Ty would fuss or cry.  He’d lay by his side as he kicked around on his playmat…(notice in the first picture he has his own BABY BLANKIE with him…and OH, that BLANKIE, that deserves its own blog post!)

 

Our new little family.

 

Playing out in the front yard became a whole new game for Banks…

 

No matter if we were blowing bubbles or zipping around in a wagon, Banks still wanted to fetch a ball every now and then :)

 

 

and Ty was definitely willing to play ball with his doggie :)

The amount of love and loyalty Banks had towards Ty just makes my heart so warm to think about.  I’m so thankful that Ty had Banks as his first dog “experience”, to know that canine companions are the best, most simple, pure kind of love there is.

Here’s Ty attempting to be an Alpha dog to Banks too, instructing him, “SIT!  STAY!”  The video of this is buried deeply in our blog from 2008 or 2009, you should definitely check it out :)

 

Don’t you wonder what Banks is thinking in this picture???

 

WHO exactly did I lay this blanket down on the floor for?

He played ball at the table too!  Ty became really good at this game :)

 

One day we decided to take Ty and Banks back to the farm where Banks was born and where his family still lives.  We stayed in touch with the Ramos family and sent them a Christmas card every year (I hate to break the news to them of his untimely death…they will be so saddened, just as if he were still their dog).  I believe in the first picture he’s meeting with his grandma and mom

 

And here he is with his Daddy, Bear.  They got down on their front paws like this the whole time, and were playful and romping together.  We always have memories of Banks’ dad carrying a huge piece of firewood the day we first went to their farm to see Banks’ litter.  He literally was carrying a piece of firewood around, as if he were showing off.

 

Halloween 2007

Halloween 2008

Halloween 2009 (I really WISH Banks was in this picture, though I can rest easy knowing that there was probably a pound of dog hair scattered on the wood floor beneath my little strawberry and Spiderman!)

Of course not long after Halloween came one of Banks’ favorite times of year, WINTER!  And that means SNOW.  One of MY favorite things was watching Tommy and Banks go out front and shovel the driveway (at the old house and new house).  There was just such an extra excitement in Banks when they’d head out there.  He’d eat snowballs, run through the snow “banks” (and was also known to eat neighborhood snowmen-including all the edible accessories like raisins and carrots).  Also the snow on the roads would make it extra fun for me to go for a long run and let Banks run off leash, and he’d just LOVE it, zipping through people’s front yards, sprinting to catch up with me.  It’s one of my most favorite memories of him…and I hope he’s in Dog Heaven thinking of those same memories too, looking back in complete happiness.

(This is one of my favorite pictures EVER.)

I mean, how can anyone say that he wasn’t the MOST PERFECT family dog.  I hope Ty holds onto every beautiful memory he has of this great dog, and Tom and I will do our very best to keep those memories alive as well…

When we moved into our new house, his usual routine and ceremonial activities were thrown for a loop.  I mentioned that I wouldn’t allow the oversized chair in our new home, so Banks soon found a new place to sleep.  He’d mostly bed down in the great room in front of the couch, or wherever Tommy would fall asleep too.  Then sometime in the middle of the night he’d end up in our room (99% of the time it was on Tommy’s side because of Tommy’s pajama pants on the floor or extra bed pillows).  I don’t know if Tommy ever realized it, but what he lacked in an “alpha dog” status with Banks, he certainly made up for that by having a complete companion in this dog.  They were on level playing field, and Banks looked up to him, I believe.  It is certainly going out on a limb to attribute so much human emotion to a canine, but I believe it to be 100% true.  Banks loved Tommy so much…and pleasing him was one of his #1 priorities.

Even the famous Baby Blankie made it to the new house, though it went through several periods of being hidden away because it would drive everyone bonkers!  He wanted it to be tossed, tugged, thrown, anything-and he’d go to any lengths to make sure you noticed!

 

As much as I hate to think that there was something “wrong” with Bank in his last few days or weeks, because I always thought of him as a healthy dog, with a clean bill of health and in tip top physical shape, but there was something kind of peculiar in his sleeping habits in the week preceding his death.  Each night of the week before he died he slept in a different place of our home.  One night he slept outside of Ty’s room ALL NIGHT long, another night he slept in the guest bedroom across from Marlo’s room ALL NIGHT LONG, and then (and this is one of the hardest things for me to think about and of course write about) on his last night he slept in our room in an oversized chair we recently acquired for him.  He hardly slept in that chair, but his last night he did and it makes me feel equal parts contentment and confusion.  That morning, very early around 5:45AM, I went out for a run, and as I grabbed my running clothes off the dresser I stopped and visited him at the chair, in the semi-dark, and gave him a pat on the head and ran my hands down his ears and under his jaw-in what is now the most memorable gesture I will hold onto in my memories of Banks, if only I had known it was the last time…

This was also a favorite spot of his, and also one of the reasons I always had millions and millions of dog hair tumbleweeds rolling around my kitchen and hardwood floors :)

Tonight as I was putting Ty to bed a recent moment came back to me, however in a new light with Banks now physically out of our lives….

This picture helps me to remember it…

A couple weeks back we went on a morning walk to a new neighborhood being built near us.  It was a gorgeous morning and of course I brought Banks with.  It was probably a good 5 mile walk.  When we kind of walked off the beaten path and ventured back on some beautiful lots, I let B off the leash so he could roam and run as he wanted.  Ty thought it was hilarious as Banks sprinted back and forth.  As we were leaving those private drives I had to get B back on the leash just to be on the safe side.  Well, of course Banks was resisting and wouldn’t come back to me, so I just started walking on, and he always will saunter back over and get hooked back in.  So off we go, still in the neighborhood, and Banks starts going down this hill toward a pond, and is getting way behind.  Ty kept turning around in the stroller and asking “Where’s Banksy going"?” I told him he was just sniffing around.  Ty, kind of mid-cry, said, “No I want Banks to stay with us.”  I replied, “He will.  He will always stay with us.”  He will always stay with us.  I want Ty and Marlo to know this in their hearts forever.  He has left such a lasting impression on all of us…

Another favorite spot of his (and Ty’s interpretation as well!)

A few months after we moved into our new house life changed just a little bit more, and Banks’ brotherly duties expanded just a bit.  He now had a little sister to watch over, and THAT is what he did.  Just as with Ty, he laid by her side with such consistency and showed such a gentle way with her (little did he know, she would not reciprocate those gentle ways-as she’d pull on his fur or whack him with a plastic hammer!).

Ty and Banks still remained faithful best buds, with most of their relationship centering on Ty using Banks as a prop in most of his games and playing…

Banks is being part of the Easter basket opening of course (and also displaying how he was SO good at being able to block our Kodak moments, in fact TONS of the pictures I’m going through for this blog and videos even, have Banks as the focal point because he knew when we’d start cooing and waving our arms to get the kids to smile that he should probably be nearby soaking up some of the attention!)

Of course he’s getting in the way of vacuuming (or maybe Ty was just being a pesky little guy and purposely going after Banks!)

Banks has had A LOT of pretend food prepared for him over the few years Ty has been a chef.  Usually it was a weird mishmash of corn, mac and cheese, pots and pans, an onion, a plate, coffee, a donut-you get the gist.  He’d just sniff it or even sometimes lick it (which produced quite a riotous laughter among Ty and Marlo).

 

Here’s another one of those pictures where I can only imagine what he’s thinking…

Being so gentle and tolerant as Marlo explores her furry friend…

Such a good sport, and always a “friend to lean on”…

Just as much as he enjoyed winter, summer had its perks too…(I always think of Cousin Eddie from the Christmas Vacation movie when I see these hose pictures)

Banks even tried to coerce Marlo into being a new ball-thrower…

Banks has always enjoyed the “wild life” at both of our homes, with the deer being more brave and coming closer here at our new house…

A very happy Big Brother :)

A phenomenon with Banks that I never quite understood, was that no matter how big of an area you occupied with him-he could ALWAYS find a way to be underfoot!  Of course if there was food involved, that made it much more likely he’d be right there in a second!

 

Here he was on Christmas morning, 2009.  It does make me take pause for a moment and get a little teary-eyed as I see this first picture.  The grey in his muzzle is pretty obvious, and I think it’s so weird how dog owners never really notice that happening, until looking back in pictures.  He was getting older, but not THAT old.  His behavior and spunk certainly didn’t show that he was getting any older.  And the whole age thing is what causes us to be the most confused with his death.  He was ONLY FIVE.  Taken from us way too soon. 

Ty decided to cook him up a nice breakfast with his new play food.  We love this memory because Ty saw Banks laying there and said, “I make you some food.”  He brought him a big pile of various meats and cheeses and breads, and he started to walk away, and turned around and instructed, “Just pretend Banksy!” Banks had started to lick a hot dog and Ty knows that we’re not supposed to put pretend food in our mouths, ha ha.

 

As I mentioned before, we spent a small fortune buying bones and treats for Banks, but we definitely also spent some quality time baking our own treats for him. 

This specific time I found a recipe that sounded splendid for a dog-it included milk, garlic, beef bouillon, whole wheat flour…

Let me remind you, I had to bake this in the oven…while the aroma of all the aforementioned ingredients wafted throughout every room of my house…(GAG!).  Banks still enjoyed the treats though :)

Getting teased at the back window/door.  But as you notice, there is SNOW out there, he is loving it!

In his element!

Also in his element…

 

As we go through our days and motions and go through highs and lows of remembering happy moments and then being incredibly sad that we miss him so much, we are finding that the grieving is in the details.  The leash hanging in the garage, his empty food bowl, the poop in the yard, all the pictures throughout the house, having to cancel his next grooming appointment, Ty’s nonchalant references to “Banksy”, and the absolute dread of that first walk we go on as a family without our BEST FRIEND in the whole world accompanying us.  We never expected in a million years that such an early goodbye would be in Banks’ future.  We went to the movie theater to see Marley and Me when I was pregnant with Marlo and I think both Tommy and I felt such sadness at that movie because we thought a similar fate would be in store for Banks.  We just assumed that he would live out his many years with us, going through the ebb and flow of the seasons-romping in the snow, enduring the rains in the screened in porch, going for long walks in the summer mornings and enjoying cool evenings in the Autumn.  But somehow, this is sadder.  Incredibly sad that he never got to live past 10 years, to greet the kids off the school bus, to age and be pampered even more…

One reminder that will forever make us sad will be his presence in our Christmas cards every year.  He was known and famous for these photographs and people looked forward to whatever pose we’d catch him in. 

2005

2006 2007 2008 2009

 

I wonder what we can do for our 2010 picture?  No doubt when that time comes, our hearts will be sad again as we think back over these past years.

Oh, Banksy, we thank you so much for what you added to our family.  It was only 5 years you were here, but it felt like 20 with the intense way you loved us and stood by us.  Every walk we ever take we’ll feel a certain emptiness in our hands without the familiar tug of your leash, we’ll even miss cleaning up your poop!  I’ll see your hair for years to come, I’m sure, as I dust and clean certain places of our home.  We’ll never forget your smell, the feel of your fur, the deep bark you rarely let out, the creaks in the floor as you roamed about the house.  In fact, we don’t want to forget any of this, we’ll even do our best to keep your memory alive by telling your stories, looking at your pictures, reflecting back on your time with us with love and appreciation.  You are a permanent member of our family, and we hope you’re getting lots of pats and cuddling, runs in the park, and plenty of good treats in the place you are now.  We’ll certainly keep beautiful images of you in our hearts forever and always start our stories of you with, “He was the BEST DOG EVER…”

 

Love,

Tommy, Sarah, Ty, and Marlo

P.S. Videos in a separate post coming soon…